ceriaduniaremajaku ♥

Damn Sick.

2010-09-12T16:09:00.001-07:00

09.10.10

Ok for this time i can tell no body seems care to me. NO BODY. NO ONE.
I do love my mom. So much. But i feel so complicated. I mean, i cant really tell. that she had no time for me.
I can understand. She got alot of work to do. But i need love :'(

I do love all my siblings. But their just makes me stressful.
My lil sister; shes a whore. I freaking hate her. I do.
My lil bros; hes fine. But he ruined my life.

Their both makes me
This life is pretty crazy. My life is getting worse. No one can understand me.

It is stupid. But i do cry all night. Every night.
Im so crumbly.

I dont feel myself lately.
Im in a sad state.
Im about to eat my heart out.

I needa boyfriend.

Oh. I dont love, oh even like my dad. At all.
Hes a stupid thing that i ever had.
He just so weird. Freak. Oh men.

He just like always makes me feel down. And im damn sick of his attitude.
Too bad, dad. I hate you.

The end.

2010-07-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

So. Do i need to tell all of you about my feelin right now? No.

Speechless.
Dont know what should i say anymore.

Im not mad. Im not sad. Im not cried. Im not what you guys thinkin right now. Im lying.

"My heart was made to be broken."
Poor me.

This mornin..
I checked my phone. And it says, ":|" by Ryan Beadles.
Then i checked another msg. Oh it says, "BABY sorry for being busy, :( i'll go to canada this past few weeks. :((... i misssssssssss YOU! so much!!!!!". Still, by Ryan Beadles.

Gettin so much excited. Right away, i reply back the msg and said, "Its ok, Ryan! At least you were fine overthere, and and im ok with it. Hmm but you makes me worried :(
How are you? I miss you so much :'("

Oh.

I opened my facey via pc. OH.
I got an information that is written "married". OH? Wheres the other writings? Where it says "with Ryan Beadles"?

Honestly. Everytime im tryin to write all of this story, i cant. Somethin stuck on my brain. A small virus continues to tickle and make it pain and even they forced my tears to exit.
This is so sad. I cant help myself.

He said, were gonna be forever. LIAR.
He said, he loves me. Im his baby. LIAR.
He said, "im not over u.." LIAR.
He said, "I Hate Myself For Losing You. :|" BIGGEST LIAR.
He said, "For you, I'd be! :)" LI-AR.
He said, "^_^ i luv u so much baby!!! :D" FUCKING LIAR :'(
He said, "MY LIFE AND MY EVEYTHING ~> Mery Christine" ;'(
He said, "^_^ .. baby i want hug u tight!!! ^^ i miss u so much!! i love you! :D.. im glad and happy that im urs baby ^_^" ;'(
He said, "v^__________^v .. no one can break us! :D" :'(:'(! FUCKING BIGGEST LIAR.
He said, "we need to BREAK this? :| ........... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" we just DID.
He said, "Mery Christine LOVE HER SO MUCH! =]" ...
He said, "I Love My GirlFriend No Matter What Happennn♥" :' MY life, and EVERYTHING! i miss her :)"
He said, "i love Mery Christine !!!! ONE AND ONLY!!!! dont have crush or something!!! only her...love her so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -09♥" LIAR! LIAR LIAR!
He said, "thanks baby :* i will love you too..ONLY YOU!" :'/
He said, "SHE'S MINE NOW!!!!! ONLY MINE i love you so much Mery Christine ... :**** im only yours :*" :/
He said, "ich vermisse dich, ich wünschte du wärst hier. Mery Christine" :|
He said, "Mery Christine im inluv with. ;P"
He said, "So don't fear Don't you worry 'bout a thing I am here, right here, Don't shed a tear Whenever you need me I'll be here I'll never let you go;)" ;/

I do remember, when he asked me.. "haha.. u hav suitor? xD"

Max.

2010-07-01T19:14:00.000-07:00

So...

Heres the story.

Fri. Jun 04 2010 17;15;33
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf Hey how are you doin? :)
@merychristinepf Hey how are you doin? :)

Then i forgot what i said to him.
But then he reply back on Sat. Jun 05 2010 11;28;00 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf

ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf hey how you doing? Im good thanks! just studying because i have some important exams coming up :) what you up to? :)
@merychristinepf hey how you doing? Im good thanks! just studying because i have some important exams coming up :) what you up to? :)

Again and again. I forgot what i said to him.
But then..

Sat. Jun 05 2010 11:38:07 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf
@ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf good good :) erm im expected to get an A but im really bad at Math!! :/ same im really bored haha :) where are you from?

Yes. I got syndrome "forgotten".. so well.

But then.. he replied my tweet, haha alright! He forget to put my username first, so they did like this...

Sat. Jun 05 2010 13:04:45 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web
ChuckNorrisRI;
yeah so ima fail my math :P oh cool! I love the US!! I live in the UK! so much worse over here :)

And of course i did reply his tweet back, cause you all know, i didnt get his tweet on my mention box :)

Right away, on Tue. Jun 08 2010 12:46:38 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf, he tweeted me first! Watch!

ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf hey! ;)

For-get. A-gain and a-gain, what i said to him.
But i bet i said "hi" too, to him.

He replied still on, Tue Jun 08 2010 15:59:47 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf hey im doing great thanks! ;) yourself? tep followed :D

Ya. Ya. Ya. Make sure you all understand me. I did forget again and again.
But i think.. i gave him some shoutie.. So, he tweeted this >>

Tue. Jun 08 2010 16:23:43 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf
Retweeted by you
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf <<
And..

Tue. Jun 08 2010 16:24:29 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf still? nawww thats bad! hope it gets better ;D lol yeah i will add you on facebook whats your name?

Tue. Jun 15 2010 04:23:57 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf
Retweeted by you
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf HEYYYY NOT BEEN ONLINE IN AGES!! missed you ;) hahah how are you? exams finish today!!! :D

Thu. Jun 17 2010 15:45:58 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web
Retweeted by you
ChuckNorrisRI;
heyy everyone not been on here in a while!!! everybody follow the BEAUTIFUL @merychristinepf !!! ;D

Thu. Jun 17 2010 15:47:30 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf
Retweeted by you
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf heyyy you are soo kind!! your new picture is really beautiful tooo :D anyway whats new with you? :)

Thu. Jun 17 2010 15:56:07 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf aww thankss ;) what you been up to lately? it is so hot i can barely sleep! haha

Thu. Jun 17 2010 15:56:30 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web in reply to merychristinepf
Retweeted by you
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf <<< people would be mad not to follow her!!!! :D

Mon. Jun 28 2010 16:23:45 (Mountain Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf hello hello hello :D ive missed our chats!! Im really busy atm, im not ignoring you i promise :D how is your summer going?

Mon. Jun 28 2010 16:31:26 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web from Albuquerque, NM in reply to ChuckNorrisRi
MeryChristinePf;
@ChuckNorrisRi oh pretty cool! What concert? Haha nothin really interesting with me right now, but Max, im so happy your online!!!! :')

Mon. Jun 28 2010 16:24:41 (Mountain Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf im going to a 4 day concert on thursday im so excited!! How are things with you? ;) anything new or interesting to tell me?

Mon Jun 28 2010 16:25:24 (Mountain Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
ChuckNorrisRI;
@merychristinepf your facebook photis are really pretty btw! :) your boyfriend is very lucky to have you!!

Mon. Jun 28 2010 16:34:25 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web from Albuquerque, NM in reply to ChuckNorrisRi
MeryChristinePf;
@ChuckNorrisRi oh pretty cool! What concert? Haha nothin really interesting with me right now, but Max, im so happy your online!!!! :')

Mon. Jun 28 2010 16:38:30 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web from Albuquerque, NM
MeryChristinePf;
@ChuckNorrisRi thanks, Max :') but.. i dont think so if he think like what you think, haha. Cuz i thought he like another girl now :') sosad

Done.

Ya. Done atm.
Still waiting for him to get online, then reply my tweets.

Mon. Jun 28 2010 20:00:26 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web from Albuquerque, NM
MeryChristinePf;
Its 13,013 tweets, and goes to my adorable friend ever @ChuckNorrisRi :) haha i love him, so you guys better follow him! ;) God bless, Max<3

Tue. Jun 29 2010 19:55:58 (Mountain Daylight Time) via web from Albuquerque, NM
MeryChristinePf;
13,300 goes to @ChuckNorrisRI. Hope we will meet soon :)

Back.
about 2 hours ago via web

Brb :/
about 2 hours ago via web
Delete
Max :(
about 2 hours ago via web

To my HATERS.

2010-06-27T20:30:00.000-07:00

Oh hi, HATERS!

1. Dont hate me cause you aint me.
2. Dont hate cuz ima such cutie pie and sweet; lol. Hate cuz you cant compete.
3. Dont hate me because i wasn't who you thought i was or who you wanted me to be. From start to finish you never knew the real me. K?
4. Hating is the sincerest form of flattery. ps; I KNOW YOUR GETTING JEALOUS, baby! ;)
5. Dont hate what you cant imitate. Yo, GIRLS ;)

Hating me isnt going to make you any prettier, dude. Bahaha!
If you dont like me, remember its mind over matter; i dont mind and you dont matter.

6. My pleasure; hating on my name and you guys just gives me the fame ;*
7. MY LOVELY HATERS; you guys only hate the things that you cant get and you cant be.

But.. well yeah, i love all my haters. YOU guys make me famous, tho ;)
So, God bless you, guys! ;)

Pssst! If you hate me still or what, im reppin then click the [x] and get to steppin!
Love love love, Mery Christine Pfeifer.

So just you know..

2010-06-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

Boy,
Please, dont even make me dream of something about you, that you cant even make it true!

So just you know, i always try to be that one girl youve always needed. Fosho, youve always been in my prayer. You just dont know about it.

And.. You have to know something, actually.. i would call or text you, in my busiest time, just to know if youre doing alright or not. But... i cant. Yes, i cant.

I know, sometimes even always probably, i may get jealous for no reasons, but never get it the wrong way, it means i loves you. So much.

Boy,
Youre far away, but i will never stop loving and missing you. So just you know.

I... love you. Ryan Beadles.

Blah.

2010-06-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

Bloggie,
You think am i in love?

I dont know if i am in love though... but, have you ever liked someone so bad, and you just havent met them yet?

Thats how i feel right now. You havent seen them in real life, but you feel that.. it is right.
Is that wrong?

Iam sure of him. I trust him. I enjoy talking to him, mocking him.. simply enjoy wasting my time with him.

Fosho,
Im not afraid to tell him that 'i.... love you',
but i am truly, incredibly afraid of what he'll say back :/

Blah, i think i have a crush on him.

Idk. Randoms.

2010-06-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

Hi. Bloggie.

At least, i really dont know what should i typin down on you.
I try to remind somethin, but i couldnt find em.

Gettin so much bored this summer.
Dont know what to say, but thats true.

I hope i can go vacation in Jogja, Indonesia. I miss that place so bad.
And you know the problems already. I HAVE NO MONEY! Sucks.

But anyways, kinda happy, and my boredom at least reduced, cuz Jessica Jarrell following me by today, at 10; 45am. Well, i mean ~~re-follow,~~ cuz before, shes following me and i didnt even know who is she, so i didnt followed back. Ahah, ego me.

I saw one girl (i guess?) was like tweetin her, and i opened her profile then start to tweetin her too!
Ahah, luckiest. Cuz i just tweetin her like only 2 times tho.
Here, href="http://i46.tinypic.com/30uqww6.jpg"> Lol.

---> You guys see that yellow and blue square?
And FINALLY! Those red and red dark proof it to the ppl. Ahah.

Check it also;
Here, href="http://i50.tinypic.com/2ds2rl3.jpg"> Yay, PROOF!

So yeah, wish me luck for today.
Thanks, and goodafternoon.

Happy Anniv, my baby, Ryan Beadles!

2010-06-09T23:53:00.000-07:00

So hey, Bloggie!

Today was pretty good day.
Well, i must be say 'amazing day ever' cuz i had a dream about him, last night :') and its totally wonderful dream that i ever have!

So yeah, i would like to write it on here but eh i dont know, i feel too lazy to do it >:D lol.

But dont worry! I promise, pinky promise;), i'll write the story soon, cuz i also want you guys to know about it ^. ^

And yeah, the point is, he was remembered that day!
The most important part of the dream ... He kissed me! Even three times! Duh!
I didnt realize it was all going to happen! Although only in my dreams. Eh: /

But im so incredibly happy! I really hope that i can have a dream like that again. And for sure, WITH HIM! RYAN BEADLES! :')
He kissed me with his feelings. Even i felt very confident even that was real!

Oh God, i hope me and him gonna be immortal. Although it was only a fake, even stupid illusion ever that will not be happening.

But anyway, this is my photo that i putted right on June 9, 2010, on my facebook page :)

http://i47.tinypic.com/149qyab.jpg">
Lol, can you guys read it?

And here, http://i50.tinypic.com/348pp3p.jpg
Ah yeah! I love him, so much. With all my heart, although he may never have the same feelin as i do.

So, yeah, peaceful!
Goodnight.

:'/

2010-06-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my anniv, that 2 months together with him.
Im gonna put the pic that i made like 3 days ago, on you, Bloggie.

So..
Goodnight.

Still. Even will be forever.

2010-06-06T23:53:00.000-07:00

He got offline. Without tell me first.

2

2010-06-06T23:46:00.000-07:00

Saya
3 more days
:)

00:05Ryan
^_^
<3 u
<3 u

00:06Saya
love you more :)

00:06Ryan
i miss you

00:06Saya
i miss you so much, Ryan :)

00:07Ryan
:*

00:07Saya
:D
:**
so how are you?

00:08Ryan
im good u?
00:10Saya
im okay

00:11Ryan
nice

00:11Saya
ya

00:12Ryan
r u sure ur ok?

00:13Saya
you want me to be honest?

00:13Ryan
ya

00:13Saya
no

00:13Ryan
:/
why?

00:14Saya
you keep ignoring me.
you changed yourself...

00:16Ryan
no, im not :(

00:16Saya
you are

00:18Ryan
no one can understand me, and i say to myself u can understand me.. :( .. im wrong :/

00:18Saya
i understand you more than you know.

00:20Ryan
i hav. prob.

00:20Saya
why not you tell me?
you have to know, i always be there for all your problem

00:22Ryan
its about my family...........

00:22Saya
wont you share with me?
its ok..

00:23Ryan
oh its nothing special... nvm.. :) im ok now..im chatting with you

00:24Saya
:/
tell me, if i do wrong to you

00:27Saya
you getting bored?

00:27Ryan
nooooo..............dont mind of it baby _^^ plssss :) i need u now for maki' me smile ^_^.. i forget my prob.

00:29Saya
i love you, Ryan :(

00:30Ryan
i love you to mery!! so much!!

00:32Saya
i happy now..

00:33Ryan
:*

00:33Saya
so please, just tell me about all your problem. i will be there, listen for you. will you promise?

00:34Ryan
yah baby i promise...but not my prob. now...because it only like fuckin' prob ^^

00:36Saya
i dont want to losing you :/

00:37Ryan
me 2

00:37Saya
hmm ok.

00:40Ryan sedang offline.

And he hurts my feelin. Still and forever.

2010-06-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

Sup Bloggie.
My day was going good. Today. Yeah, nothin interestin, actually.
But feels like have to feedin you tonight tho.

So yeah! Im still thinking boutim.
6, 7, 8, 9. Eh 3 more days, then my aniv withim. We both gonna be 2 months, together. Awsum ha?

Not really.

Have some work to do. Gonna giveim some pics of me.
Nyahah!

Well, i will put it on YOU, mi Bloggie. Yeah, on June 9, 2010.

So, yo.
Goodnight.

Pretty awesome day.

2010-06-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

So yeah. Whaddup Bloggie!

Feel so tired today. But still be pretty good day.
Well, i got Bieber following me! So luckiest huh?!

Nyaha. It was 09:51am, when i saw my followers, then i got him on my 1268 followers. LoLs.
Yeaaah. My sis was helping me to get him to follow me back. YAY BABY! I got that!
He also following her. Nyah! But yap, im still luckiest ppl ever tho(:

And yap! My mom also bought me nitendo ds ha. Ahah, so happy.
I choose the white one. And purple cover!

And yeah, i was wearing purple tshirt. Because today is BIEBERS DAY for me!

Ah! <3:)
Goodnight.

Love is horrible. And you know that already.

2010-06-05T09:24:00.000-07:00

Hey ppl, have ever been in love? Horrible isnt it? It makes you so
vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other
stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...

You give them a piece of you.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. Its a soul hurt, a real gets inside you and rips you apart pain. I hate love.

Feels like dying.

2010-06-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hi bloggie...

He doesnt care me anymore. Yap, he just doesnt seem to care about me anymore.
Hes a changed person…

He keep ignoring me.
And... Of course he says he loves me i do believe he does.
But...

Have he ever really thought about it?
Ive been tryin to be a good good girl. Not enough still?

Ive been tryin like forever. Yes. Forever.

Doesnt he see that?
Doesnt he want to see me as much i want him? Well. Forget it.

Thats my worst problem.

2010-06-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

Do you want to know what my problem is?

I will tell you what my problem is…
I love you. I love your name, i love your
gorgeous smile, i love your beautiful eyes, i love the sound of your laugh, i love the way you get mad, i love the way i dont understand you at all.

I love the way i can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how when you touch me I get weak.
Thats my problem...

Still cant believe. Cant.

2010-05-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

Saya
Ryan :/

20:58Ryan
hey

20:59Saya
i dont want, but... we should

21:00Ryan
no

21:00Saya
i know you dont love me anywmore

21:01Ryan
y u do this.. beacause someone likes u.. like marsya alyandara? u know him... right?

21:01Saya
and i dont want you to love me because you have to

Shes a girl! :D

21:02Saya
i do this, because... you dont love me anymore. and you love her, Ashley. yeah, Ashley :'(

21:05Saya
still there?

21:06Ryan
baby sorry .. i like her but i dont love her.. baby i dont what to break u beacause i like you more than her.. :(

21:07Saya
but you just said, you love her :'(

21:09Ryan
i dont want to break us because of her!

21:10Saya
but you sure you still love me?

21:12Ryan
yah... :( but im trying to stop for that feelings..4 u

21:12Saya
please stop it :(
stop like her, until we both broke up :(
please..

21:16Saya
well.

21:17Ryan
ok baby i promise

21:18Saya
hmm

21:19Ryan
/?
i love you.
dont let me go.

21:19Saya
i love you more. more than you know. even moreeee like you love me
i wont. please stop it, please, for me :'(

21:21Saya
I hate. Really hate arguin with you. Because i really dont wanna lose you.

21:22Ryan
yes..baby..i promise..will be togther forever .. right?

21:22Saya
forever :')
forever! like you said before..

21:23Ryan
^_^ sorry for liking someone..i dont expect that..ur my only love baby..

21:23Saya
im still lucky. i still have you! :)

21:24Ryan
baby promise me,
dont think that i love someone..and we dont break for someone fucking shit:(

21:25Saya
i promise.
:')

21:27Ryan
:*

21:28Saya
:)
:*

21:28Ryan
:*

21:30Saya
will you promise me? you will always love me :')

21:31Ryan
yes baby :) no can break us :D
no one *

21:31Saya
no one :')

21:31Ryan
:*

21:31Saya
:)))))))))))))))))))))

21:32Ryan
^_^

Ryan sedang offline.

so...

You. Messin around my heart.

2010-05-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hi ppl. Just want to say somethin.
I feel cheated by someone. WhataFUCK?!

Man, my heart isnt yer dick. So please, dont play with it.
And you know that actually.

Sweetie, if you cant understand my silence, you will not understand my WORDS.
Well. I bet you even never know what i do. What i did. What my heart did for YOU. Is that enough? NOT EVEN.

I always try to be a GOOD GIRL. Do you know that? NOT EVEN. NEVER!
So, how could i say then to you, to make you UNDERSTAND MY FEELING?! Huh?
Its really hurts myself to take a breath.

Please STOP do it! You make me to think about the stupidest mistake in my life. Yes. Thinkin about the one who HURTS me the most.
Really. But i wish yer not in my dreams.

Dude. YER NOT SUPPOSED to exist in my life.
And, im NOT SUPPOSED to love you.
Im NOT SUPPOSED to CARE about you!
Im NOT SUPPOSED to wishin you were here. Right next to me. I shouldnt!
Im NOT SUPPOSED to WONDER where you are. Not supposed. Yes. Not supposed.
Im NOT SUPPOSED to thinkin again and again what you do.

Youre AWFUL!

You wrecked my WHOLE life!

Sweetie, relationship should be between two people. Not the whole UNIVERSE.
And remember, when you said, you WOULD NEVER do that again? Well. You DID! Again.

I hate. Really hate arguin with you. Because i really dont wanna lose you.
Have you ever think about it?

The WORST feelin ever isnt knowing whether i should WAIT or GIVE UP.

My heart was taken by you. Even BROKE by you, and NOW it is in pieces by YOU!

I feel stupid when i read you conversation with that chick.
I dont want to know that. But i know that.
It hurts me. My heart sinks.

Do you ever, just want to call me at 2am?
Do you ever, just want to give me a hug?
Do you ever, just think that youll never let me go?
Do you ever, just want to go up to me and tell me how much you love me? BULLSHIT.
Do you ever, just start out yer window and think about me?
Do you ever, just like you want with me forever?
And do you ever, JUST think that you WILL NEVER LET ME GO?
I DO. I DO, I DO, and I DO!

Sweetie. You never know what you have until you lose it. And ONCE you LOSE IT, you CAN NEVER GET IT BACK.

And you think missin me is hard? You really should try missin yerself.

I pretend i dont care bout you anymore. But i do. DAMN.
DAMN. DAMN. DAMN. Yer in my mind again!

I was just sittin here in amazement.
Foreal. Im afraid to losin you.

PS; sorry. I get ALLERGIC to BULLSHIT. Like you. Dude.

April 21, 2010

2010-04-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

T; "where is he?"
Me; "um idk. But i think, his right hanging out right there"
Tw; "you sure? Are you sure?"
M; "um idk. Maybe?"
Tw; "are you positive? Positive sure? Haha"
M; "there! There!!"
T; "which one?"
M; "that guy wi.."
Tw; "with the hat, and red bag pack"
T; "Malcolm?!"
M; "yeah. Malcolm"
T; "oh no, Mery. His a playboy"
M; "really? meeeen"
A; "yeah he is. He try with me too"
M; "really? oh well"
T; "yeah. He try with me too"
Tw; "oh yeah? Well, so have you kiss him yet?"
T; "em no. Haha"
M; "you talk to him too much, T?"
T; "yeah"
M; "you text with him?"
T; "yeah"
M; "until now?"
T; "yeah"
M; "you talk to him?"
A; "hmm yeah, he gave me his number. He wants me to text him, but i didnt ttext him until right now. Haha"
M; "iew"
T; "so you still wanna kiss him?"
M; "jerk! No."

Still today...
Lunch time. But we just walk around.

T, she was walked over. Then..
K; "hey sweetie, whos your friend?"
T; "who? Mery?"
K; "oh Mery? Hey Mery :)"
M; "hey :)"
Tw; "eww he likes you, sweetie!"
M; "haha"
T; "his my ex"
Tw; "really? Eh. How come his so ugly!?"
M; "Lol his not, Tw"

On 7th period. I was called them, but well they didnt hear me as well.
...going to restroom.

M; "eh hey, T!"
T; "hey haha so you want me to *....* with him?"
M; "wheres Tw, T?" "eh noo hehe"
T; "its ok, im ok, tho"

Tomorrow. Which is right know. Today.
I was walked to the stairs, then i saw him.

K; "hey Mery :)"
M; "hey :))"

At the hallway...

M; "wheres Jordan!"
Tw; "well, idk"
M; "i really wanna talk to him :\" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Tw; "well, you look evil, tho"
M; "HAHAHA ya i know. I was think im weird, tho. Cuz i always tell you about him, 'i wanna talk to him' but i..."
Tw; "yeah! You never do it"
M; ":\\ you know that, im so shy :/"
Tw; "dont be shy, sweetie"
M; "im just afraid if he was ignore me :("
Tw; "no wont not. But if yeah, his a jerk, then"
M; "ha-ha"

In the courtyard....

M; "wheres Jordan!"
Tw; "....."
M; "wheres Jordan!"
Tw; "....."
M; "wheres Jordan!" "eh look! His right there!"
Tw; "come on"
M, walk slowly...
Tw; "come on"
M; "eh eh eeeem maybe later? Hehe"
Tw; "come on..."

Teeeet teeet teeet.

Tw; "well, bye sweetie"
M; "uh. Bye :\"

M, still stand up over there.

H; "hey Mery, what are you doing?"
M; "eh? I just watching hehe" M, she was jump. "EH! i like that guy!!!!!!!!"
H; "which one?"
M; "the guy with blue shirt!?"
H; "oh lets talk to him!"
M; "talk what???"
H; "idk. Just say hi"
M; "Ah? Nooo."
H; "lets gooo! Just like, hey i like you!"
M; "nooo!"

He just walk away. Well,

H; "just like, hey yer cute"
M, "telat."

spring break

2010-03-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

this is my first time in albuquerque with the spring break. its pretty awesome. i always took my picture, lols it just for making fun and aslo... for refreshing my eyes! (?)

look it this,
*dont even look like myself, right? lol

oh lol i was look like a zombie spring. how jelek iam >.< hahah

haha wut??

armpit armpit armpit!! haha

windmill. i <3 it with rainbow colors :)

co?

2010-03-18T13:25:00.000-07:00

Have you kissed more than 4 people this year?
yea.

Do you remember the first time you met the last person you texted?
yea.

Have you ever done a drug other than marijuana?
no.

Have you ever dated your number one on myspace?
not yet.

What's the relationship between the last person you texted and you?
not even clear.

Have you ever kissed anybody whose name starts with a A,J,C,K,M?
maybe.

Ready to get really deep now?
sure.

Last person to call you?
idk.

Last person you called?
idk.

Have you ever been completely alone with a boy in his room?
never.

Who did you last go out to eat with?
always go alone.

If your parents searched your room, would they be mad at what they'd find?
maybe. if they could find it.

Is the last person you kissed black?
nope. never.

Asian?
maybe.

Could you see yourself dropping out of high school?
oh please, no thank you.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone on your top friends?
never.

What does the last text in your inbox say?
"lol"

Are you taller than 5 foot 7 inches?
no. iam 5'1 or 5'2~

Are all of your friends virgins?
idk.

Last person you were in a car with?
family except dad.

Have you accidentally sent a text to the wrong person?
before yea.

If you could describe your day in one word, what would it be?
fuckinbored.

Does anyone know your password besides you?
yes.

Have you ever lost someone who meant a great deal to you?
yeah. but who cares.

Are you happier now or two months ago?
IDK.

You're crying at 12 at night, you call?
nobody.

Are your eyes the same color as your dad's?
idk. idk my dad.

What would you do if you found a suitcase with a million dollars in it?
keep it! and save a lot of it.

If you could erase someone from your life who would it be and why?
everyone. and everyone knows why

Do you believe exes can be friends?
no. not at all. well, if you never loved them yes.

Be honest, do you miss anyone?
yes I do.

Where do you wish you could hop on a plane and vacation to right now?
BEACH with him (who?)

Is there anyone you cannot go a day without thinking about?
yes.

Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 72 hours?
i did.

Have you ever tripped and fell over a stick?
im sure.

Are you forgiving?
not really.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
not really.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
yeah.

Did you get to sleep in today?
yes.

Where will you be in 1 hour?
IDK.

Are you a naturally happy person?
i dont think so.

Is there one person that you don't want ever to leave your life?
friends. fml.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
kezia.

Do you think your first love still loves you?.
maybe.

Do you like your English class?
yes sir.

Do you eat candy daily?
yea. time at school

Do you know anyone with a really weird name?
agus.

Do you pick your words carefully, or just tend to blurt everything out?
i pick them most of the time. but when im mad i blurt everything im thinking out.

Do you get annoyed by one word conversations?
YES.

Are you attracted to anyone now?
colton.

The person you like comes up to you and kisses you what's your reaction?
kiss him back? or well, ill scream.

Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed?
i didnt choose one of them!!! they're both not very good. well sex isnt bad but its embarrassing.

What do you find to be sexy about the opposite sex?
idk lols.

Are you listening to any music?
yes.

Did you sleep alone last night?
no.

Is anyone on your top an ex girlfriend/boyfriend?
no.

Does the song you're listening to remind you of anyone?
actually.

Honestly, are you dating 2 people?
yes. lols

Could you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
oh meeeen lol no.

formspring.me

2010-03-17T20:51:00.001-07:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/merainbowhippie

wat?

2010-03-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed on the lips?
duh.

Is your room clean?
no.

Do you hate the last person who called you?
no.

Think back two months ago, what was your relationship status?
its complicated. oh well, im single.

Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
big disaster for my heart and my head-_-

If you are being extremely quiet, what does that mean?
im thinking, upset, sad, disappointed, quiet, tired, or i don't wanna talk.

Is your birthday soon?
9 months.

Who do you wish was with you at the moment?
colton.

Are you drunk?
never.

What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? When was it?
ummmmmmm.....idk

Could you survive without electricity?
no.

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?
no.

Are girls too dramatic?
yes.

Does the thought of marriage scare you?
it has but when i think of him it don't <3

What were the last words you spoke out loud?
im forgot.

Would you date someone who lived in another state?
i have before. but never again.

Who is someone that you would do anything for?
bf. um? no one, i guess.

What did you do tonight?
i dont know.

So, how are you?
im alright. :\

Is it easier to forgive or forget?
idk depends on what happened

Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?
yea.

Will next Friday be a good one?
maybe.

Do you miss anyone?
yea :'\

Do you think it's disgusting when girls get really wasted?
idk.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
myself lol but probably my sister.

What is the last beverage you had?
water.

If you were upset, who is the first girl you'd go to?
ashley.

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
1.

Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
Yes.

Have you ever been caught skipping class?
maybe haha.

What are you going to spend money on next?
idk

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
yes!

Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?
may-be.

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
my bestie or umm idk.

Hate anyone?
yea.

How many of your friends do you truly trust?
a few not even a couple but like 5

Are you starting to realize anything?
yea. but... what?!

How many people do you have 'a thing' for right now?
just one actually :|

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
my mom.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
actually.

Where was your default picture taken?
my bedroom.

When was the last time you talked to your number 2?
idk.

Do you need to say anything to anyone right now?
yes! if he wasn't been busy and want to text me first D:

Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed?
half-open.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
depends.

First thing you do when you wake up?
check my phone.

What's on your bedroom floor right now?
garbage, i guess.

What do you currently hear?
my crazy sister.

Ever talked to someone that was drunk?
i dont think so.

Did you have a dream last night?
yes! i was dreamed of colton.

Do you trust people easily?
no.

Are you easily scared by horror movies?
yes.

Do you still turn to your parents for advice or comfort?
i dont think so.

What were you doing at 9 this morning?
waking up.

Do you like to argue?
no. but i will if you push my nerves.

Have you ever felt replaced?
yes. sucks.

what?

2010-03-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

We all change, right?
mmhmm.
some for the better.
some for the worst.

What’s something you just don’t give a fuck about anymore?
him!

Anything you're waiting for?
im still waiting for, his gonna be the one. yea thats all i'm waiting for.

Do you care what you look like?
actually.

How’s your heart been lately?
complicated. hurt. sick.

Did you have a weird dream last night?
not really. i have dreamed of him. and it was fun! i hope its gonna be real :(.

If someone liked you would you want them to tell you?
ergh... idk for sure -_-

What do you want more than anything right now?
his mine.

Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
i dooo.

Are you nice to everyone?
only the people i like.

Did you sleep alone last night? if not with who?
yes indeed i did. with my lil sis and lil bro~

How many people are you interested in?
1.. or 2... or 3. ergh idk.

Do you cross your legs when you sit?
sometimes.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
somewhat.

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
oh well, i cant >_<

Do you miss anyone?
more than ever :\

If I say "psycho", who is the first person that comes to your mind?
her! her! him! him!

Do you want to say anything to anyone?
yea:'(

Name a lyric from the song you're listening to?
ill follow you until you love me, papa-paparazzi
promise ill be kind, but i wont stop until that boy is mine
-paparazzi

Who was the last serious conversation you had with?
no one.

How well do you know the last person you text?
pretty well.

Do you have the same color eyes as your siblings?
may-be. i dont even know about that. hahah

Do you have the same color hair as your siblings?
not really. but yeah

Are you wasting your time on someone?
yea. i do. stupid.

Do you believe "drunken words are sober thoughts"?
in some circumstances.

If you were so drunk you couldn't even stand, would the last person you texted take care of you?
i dont even sure.

When someone says "we need to talk," what runs through your mind?
what happened noww... disaster oh disaster >.<

What would you do if someone you knew had an abortion?
speechless.

Can money buy happiness?
temporary happiness.

What's worse, ignorance or stupidity?
stupidity. you cant help it when you just dont know things.

Do you know anyone who doesn't smoke pot?
idk.

Did you know that alcohol is more harmful than weed?
liver damage. ha. probably.

Do you follow your head or your heart?
rock paper scissors. oh head. oh my heart, tho. oh i do not know. (!)

Do you ever get so frustrated that you just wanna cry?
yes, fer sure.

After taking a shower, do you change in the bathroom or in your bedroom?
depends.

Have you ever kissed anyone named Tom?
no.

Do you delete people off of myspace?
no, i guess.

Do you like surprises?
mmmmh about what?!

Do you have a teddy bear?
i do. eh i dont :\

Do you wear Hollister?
i dont :|

Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
sunset.

Have you kissed the same person more than 5 times in 2010?
yea. my lil borther.~

Would you ever consider piercing your lip?
haha sometimes. but eh no thank you.

Do you have any piercings?
ears.

Will tomorrow be better than today?
i-hope.

If you were in the hospital, would the last person you kissed be there?
i havent kissed any person, except my LITTLE BROTHER. so, yeah!?

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
don't plan on it. i hope not.

How did you wake up this morning?

Do you think anyone's thinking about you right now?
hmm maybeee and I HOPEEEEEEE SO!

Pancakes or French Toast?
french toast.

Would you rather have roommates or live alone?
roomies!

How can people tell if you're in a bad mood?
i dont talk & cuss a lot. oh sometimes i just vent to their.

hopeful

2010-03-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

domo, tadi malem gue mimpiin dia >_<
ceritanya ini kaya didaerah kampus apa sekolah ya, lupa. terus gue jalan sambil bawa apa tau deh, baju kayanya, eh ketemu dia. terus gue sama dia berenti. dia langsung bilang "can i kiss you now?"... nah kan gue yang malu juga, masa ditempat umum =='
terus gue bilang "now? right here?" eh dia jawab "yea, just go that way"

udah deh, gue naik keatas kaya perbatesan buat duduk duduk gitu. dia langsung nyium bibir gue! TT ada ade gue, dia ngambil foto kita berdua.
gatau apa maksudnya, tapi yang jelas kayanya dia mau nyium gue lagi, tapi gue kaya ngelak malu-malu giu :s bzzbego!

terus, udah selese dia bilang ke ade gue "so lets take a picture:)" +sambil ngebentuk 'peace' terus ditaro ga jauh dari pipinya+ hiyaaaa, gue seneng banget. gue setengah nyandarin kepala gue dipundaknya dia.

dan saat itu juga..... gue ga sabar buat nulis disemua status account gue! dan pas gue buka mata, gue sadar kalo itu cuman mimpi -_-((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

FRIENDSHIP ;)

2010-03-08T12:39:00.001-08:00

Seorang sahabat tidak akan membiarkanmu merusak diri sendiri. Senantiasa punya waktu untuk mendengarkan masalahmu danmemberikanmu nasihat terbaik. Bisa bersikap terbuka dan apa adanya di dekatmu. Tidak merasa segan menerima saranmu.

Seorang sahabat akan selalu menepati janji, bicara jujur, meluangkan waktu untukmu, dan bisa tertawa bersamamu.

Seorang sahabat akan tahu apa yang ingin kau katakan, meski kau tidak mengucapkannya. Memahami perasaanmu, meski kau sendiri tak bisa memahaminya. Akan selalu memaafkanmu, sebelum kau bisa memaafkan dirimu sendiri.

Seorang sahabat selalu bersedia menolongmu tanpa pamrih. Mau datangmenyemangatimu saat kau bertanding.

Seorang sahabat tidak bicara yang jelek - jelek tentang dirimu. Ia akan mengatakan penampilanmu bagus - meski sebenarnya tidak.

Seorang sahabat mempunyai tempat istimewa di hatimu dan selalu ada saat dibutuhkan.

Seorang sahabat tidak akan menertawakanmu saat kau melakukan hal yang bodoh. Bersedia menemanimu sepulang sekolah.

Seorang sahabat adalah orang yang bisa kau hormati, menghormatimu, dan mau berbagi perasaan.

Seorang sahabat membuatmu merasa nyaman dengan dirimu sendiri.Mendorongmu meraih cita - citamu. Tak pernah iri padamu.

Seorang sahabat tidak akan melanggar janjinya untuk tidak membuka rahasia. Tidak membicarakanmu dengan teman yang lain. Abadi dan selamanya.

Seorang sahabat akan selalu berpihak padamu saat kau merasa seluruh dunia menentangmu.

Seorang sahabat selalu membukakan pintu bagimu. Takkan pernah mengkhianatimu. Membantumu mendapatkan teman - teman baru.

Seorang sahabat memaafkanmu setelah bertengkar.

Seorang sahabat bersedia membagi makan siangnya saat kau lupa membawanya.

Sahabat tidak akan ikut tertawa kalau ada yang membuat lelucon jahat tentangmu.

Seorang sahabat menyukaimu sebagaimana adanya, bukan karena penampilanmu, sebab itulah yang paling penting.

Seorang sahabat tidak selalu berpikir sama seperti dirimu. Akan mengadukanmu saat kau merokok, akan memberi tahukan pada ibumu saat kau membutuhkan kacamata.

Seorang sahabat akan selalu percaya padamu saat orang - orang lain tidak mempercayaimu.

Menurutku, sahabat itu kau, dia, dan mereka.

fuckup.

2010-02-12T15:51:00.000-08:00

you really have no feelings. you should be see that im the one who understands you. been here all along, so why cant you see? even you know, i like you, and you say "dont like me". ya, you should be know. you really hurt me.

i never had love, actually. i dont understand

you give a certain hope. rocked me with great beauty

realizing that without her love comes. and i could not avoid

you give me the fresh thing. and i never felt before

but it turns out, you already have her. you make me really disappointed

i was wounded, see you with her. i really want you to realize it

i want to forget yours.

stop to chases you. but i cant.

and on January 22 at 0:25, he said "hey your never on now get back on so i can talk to you" and you know, im very happy. then we started talking until finally he said if he had a girlfriend. and it was hurting me.

for days i just cry about it. however, he still did not realize it all.

until one day, i met with him. I'm sure he saw me, but he just kept walking up to get away from me.

and after the 5th period, i saw him walking towards me as if with a girl. and me too, like him, doesnt care.

before, when im sad, when i get a lot of trouble, i told him about thats all. and when it did, he gave coolness to me.

I felt comfortable. and eventually grew a sense, until this moment.

kecewa

2010-01-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

sumpah gue bener-bener kecewa. temen selama ini yang gue anggap deket, baik, apalah segalanya itu salah.

semua cuman gara-gara gue ngelike-in wallpost mereka, dan cowonya marah. dia komentarin dengan kata yang gue pikir itu kasar buat gue karna sebelumnya dia ga pernah kaya gitu ke gue

dia bilang "ngapain lu ngelike2?" oke. saat itu juga gue "unlike"

dia langsung ngewall gue, beneran bicara kasar sampe akhirnya bilang kata 'bangsat'. sumpah ini beneran parah, gue beneran kecewa sama dia. dia komen pesan dinding gue ke dia, masih dengan kasarnya.

gue ga mau dia tambah emosi buat ngeliat gue di friend listnya, jadi gue ngeremove dia. 'juga' ngeremove siblings yang dia add dulu ke gue.

dia komen pesan dinding kita lagi, dia tetep juga kasar dan gue langsung kirim message ke dia dan gue terangin kalo gue ga pengecut. dia mulai ngelembek, dan akhirnya minta maaf. hh

telpon

2010-01-16T21:01:00.000-08:00

helo :') seneng banget malem ini, tadi nelpon gita. hehe gatau kalo gitanya seneng ditelpon apa nggak.

tapi bener, pengen punya kaka kaya dia -_- banget.

pertama nelpon rara. cuman dia agak kasar. katanya dia pikir itu orang iseng yang nelpon. jadi dia gatau... cuman 2 menitan kalo ga salah.

kedua nelpon nivi. ga sampe 5 menit :( telponnya jahat. suaranya ga jelas. udahan deh.

ketiga nelpon tisha. anak manis :) berapa lama yaa? hmm lupa~

keempat telpon gita :') cukup lama. hampir 45 menitan gitu. banyak yang dibahas. dari mulai dudit, haniv, tiara, dean, desya, ka ruth, lala, vai hehe banyaaaak

seneng banget banget :')

JUST LOOK

2010-01-04T18:10:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone ;D wanna telling something about love fufu~

Hmm today, im gong to the library with my parents, sister, and little brother. For sure, i already hopeful to wishes something LOL

Okay. But in there, im just took the opportunity to just online. Well, have no wireless in my house now (until monday afternoon)

Then, im chatting with some friends. Not so long we are going to the mall, after that. But as usually, i asked for help to my mom, to took my picture.

Cheese~

-look, my sister joins to!

Okay, then we are going to the mall. Hmm but i dont think so, my dad don't turn immediately, even straight. haha turns out we went to the gasoline store and to the post office, first. I don't intentionally longer to saw a pair of pigeons (I think) was perched on the roof (oh this is not the roof!) and ...... kissing! oh God, im so jealous. Hihi, is not jealous like what, but i feel to had a boyfriend, too. -_- (ok, thats stupid.)

Immediately, i asked my sister to take pictures of them, oh can! They are funny. Really funny: ')

-look it this!

first, they are going out i think hihi

second, they are thinking one girl keep watching them. and then realized for a few seconds

third, they think, "hmmm, to hell with her, let's continue!"

Oh yeah! So sweeeet, right?

Huhuh, feels miss someone again, now.

Then, my dad came and go to post office then go to the mall. But at a red light, i dont intentionally longer see a pair of small children (ok, they are still under age) were hugging and sharing drinks for them both. Ah again, there was that made me feeling jealous!

Hmm stupid. I want to have a boyfriend fufu ~ (NOT YOU NOT YOU NOT YOU, BUT HIM!)

-lets peep them!

LOOK LOOK LOOK!

GRRHH, DO YOU SEE THAT?

Ooooh im really annoyed. Argh, texting ME!

Gue. dan hidup Gue

2009-12-04T21:43:00.000-08:00

Gue sangat bersyukur. Masih bisa nafas detik ini

Gue sangat bersyukur. Sehari lagi yang Tuhan kasih buat gue

Gue sangat bersyukur. Gue masih punya orangtua

Gue sangat bersyukur. Punya tempat buat tinggal

Gue sangat bersyukur. Hari ini dibeliin sepatu winter

Gue sangat bersyukur. Masih bisa makan hari ini

Gue sangat bersyukur. Masih ketemu temen-temen disekolah hari ini

Gue sangat bersyukur. Dapet satu-pelukan disekolah

Gue sangat bersyukur. Bisa ikut weekly test dikelas ESL hari ini

Gue sangat bersyukur. Hari ini dibeliin jacket winter

Gue sangat bersyukur. Semua anggota tubuh gue masih lengkap, tanpa cacat cela sedikitpun

Gue sangat bersyukur. Tadi pagi masih bisa catok rambut

Gue sangat bersyukur. Masih bisa ngerasain salju hari ini

Gue sangat bersyukur. Masih ngerasain chicken teriyaki lagi, tadi di mall

Gue sangat bersyukur.

Gue sangat bersyukur. Masih bisa ngelakuin semua aktifitas gue sepanjang hari ini

Gue sangat bersyukur. Gue punya Tuhan Yesus yang peduli gue

Semua emang harus oenuh dengan ucapan syukur.

Ga cuman disaat lo seneng, baru ngucap syukur, tapi disaat lo lagi sedih, lagi banyak masalah, lo perlu bersyukur.

Saat ini, gue ga lagi seneng, makaya gue nulis beginian.

Saat ini, gue lagi kecewa. Dan gue sangat bersyukur, gue masih punya 'rasa', walopun yang gue dapet kecewa

Bangun tidur, gue mengucap syukur ke Tuhan. Terimakasih buat sehari lagi, yang Tuhan tambahin buat gue

Sehari lagi, dimana gue bisa bernafas sampe detik ini

Sehari lagi, dimana gue masih bisa ngelihat kehampaan disekitar gue

Mau tidur..

Gue tetep terus mengucap syukur, buat sepanjang hari ini yang Tuhan kasih buat gue

Sepanjang hari ini, yang penuh dengan macam-macam 'rasa'

Sepanjang hari ini, yang mengecewakan, menyakitkan, penuh perang batin

Sepanjang hari ini, Tuhan masih nganter gue, dengan selamat sampe rumah

Apapun yang gue lakuin, gue selalu terus mengucap syukur. Ga peduli itu baik apa buruk

Dan saat doa terakhir, gue minta sesuatu ke Tuhan.

Penting dari semua itu... Pengampunan.

Pengampuan buat sepanjang hari ini, buat pikiran jahat gue ke seseorang disekolah

Pengampuan buat sepanjang hari ini, masih berantem sama ade

Pengampuan buat sepanjang hari ini, punya rasa benci yang besar ke salahsatu anak disekolah

Pengampuan buat sepanjang hari ini, masih ngerasa iri sama sekitar

Pengampuan buat sepanjang hari ini, buat kekecewaan gue yang ga ada abisnya

Tapi darisemua itu, gue tetep dan selalu ngelakuin yang terbaik buat hari-hari gue

Dan seenggaknya, gue bersyukur bukan untuk terpaksa

Karna itu, gue ga pernah tau, kapan gue bakal mati. Dan gue emang ga bakal tau, kapan jantung gue bakal berenti sebentar, dan bahkan seterusnya

Yang gue tau, saat gue mati gue ada dikumpulan orang benar, dan ga ada penyesalan buat semua itu.

Ga ada lagi cheryl dihapenya :')

2009-12-01T17:23:00.000-08:00

Detik ini, gue putus. Gue ga bisa ngungkapin gimana kesedihan gue sekarang ini. Biasa dibilang gue lega bisa dibilang gue kecewa, bisa juga dibilang gue sakit. Emang awalnya udah ga cocok. Pertama kenal, iya, kita emang selalu punya banyak kesamaan. Ga cuman makanan, hobi, dan lainnya (oke gue bener-bener lupa, ga bisa mikir sama sekali buat yang itu). Setiap ketemu suatu hal yang samaan, -kita emang sama-sama susah terbuka- pasti ngomongnya "oh kebetulan" haha. Sebulan pas kita pdkt. Seneng banget, akhirnya jadian.
Hari makin jalan, makin besar rasa pengen ketemuan. Sampe akhirnya setelah 1 tahun 98 hari, akhirnya kita ketemuan.
ini beberapa foto kita :kita

Hari itu gue bener-bener ga bisa ngerasa dia ada disamping gue. Iya, emang gila.
Semua perasaan bener-bener kecampur jadi satu. Sedih, senang, malu. Oke, bener-bener ga tau mesti ngelakuin apa. Sampe-sampe guepun ngerasa ngejauhin dia (maafya) dan berusaha peduliin orang lainnya. Gue emang pemalu banget kok >_< haha iya, ga ada yang percaya soal itu. Semua bakal kembali ketawa tiap gue ingetin soal gue yang "pemalu" banget. Karena emang gue ga bisa nujukin itu ke orang yang gue kenal cuman lewat media.

Oke gue males cerita ini, lanjut hari hari berikutnya, kita punya banyak masalah (dan sebelom ketemuan emang ga jauh parah kadar masalah yang kita dapet) bahkan sampe 3 minggu lalu.

Entah kenapa gue tambah males lanjutin ini cerita.

-_________________-((

2009-11-29T19:04:00.000-08:00

Hiyaaaaaa sedih kan inideh --,-( Masa sms gadibales :(
Mending deh kan sms sekali ga dibales ya wajar. Dua kali okelah sabarin lagi. Tiga kali? OHYA! Kelewatan deh kaaaaaaan -_-

Oke, kan kitanya juga mikir ini kenapa deh, sakit deh, bermasalah deh, atau apagitu. Ckckck

Udahdeh, niatan banget OGAH sms lagi.

Nah besoknya, bingung. Pengen sms, tapi males (BANGET!) iyadong, ga bener bener banget kan, diperhatiin salah, ga diperhatiin juga salah ckck. BIKIN KHAWATIR!

Terpaksa deh kan, maksain diri buat sms. Kali ini smsnya rada ribet (kasardikit) tapi batas wajar banget dan tetep sopan. Eeeeeh dibales seenaknya "sorry ive been busy" YES GREAT!

NICE bener dah, secepat kilat deh tu gue bales SESINGKAT-SINGKATNYA! "oh" eh bego dimalah bales (sama sekali ga ngarep dia bales kalo tau cuman 'gini' balesannya) "Ya" ARRRRRRGH TOLOL!!!

Besok ketemu disekolah. Liatin aja, GUE CUEKIN LO!!!!!!!!

LOLLIPOP'S

2009-11-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

Yaaaaaay gue suka lollipop! haha (gadeng) Gue cuman suka digunain bareng foto aja :p

Haha mau cerita dikit deh. Jadi pas ke mall, ga sengaja lewat toko permen gitu, eh didepannya keliatan gitu, lollipop eh ada banyak :D lol

Biasa (radanorak) deh abis kan pas di indo ga pernah nemu nemu itu lollipop ~.~ hohoi. Dan pas liat harganya... OMG! ga mahal ;D aihlaaah untung kalo begitu (soalnya ngiranya pasti mahal bangetdeh udah) cuman 1.25 $ hehe, beli deh tuh.

Yap.. Niatan utama ya itu, bukan untuk dimakan! tapi emang buat foto ;pp

Nah, tauga deh, itu lollipop sampe sekarang belom dimakan-makan juga i masa --a HAHAHA bosen sih sebenernya ngeliatnya dilemari baju (?) tapi mo makan juga males (baca: kasian) banget! Ckckck hehe

ini dia >>>

Ini beberapa hasil foto bareng lolli si lolmottlepop hehe (hiyadeh dinamain sendiri) :

OKE LIHAT BETAPA GILANYA SAYA DENGAN LOLLIPOP SI LOLMOTTLEPOP KAN? hohoho

Haha okedeh, give me comment and reaksi. THANKS ;D)

hh just disappointed

2009-11-21T12:10:00.000-08:00

Yeah. Semua emang ga bisa cuman liat 'depan'nya aja. Seseorang yang bisa dibilang gue kagumin ternyata using drugs.
Actually, thats make me hurt. Im disappointed. Of course, i think you would be like me if you now the guy you like or whatever make something wrong for himself or whatever else.

I will show you who he is, but not now.

sampah

2009-11-20T17:35:00.000-08:00

Hari ini kedua kalinya gue adu mulut sama anak sekelas (satu anak dikelas). Semua emang dia yang salah. Sori sori ajadeh gue anti nyari ribut duluan, apalagi ama anak 'kaga dikenal' gitu najis -_-

Gabriela (g)
Mery (m)

g : i like your hat (sambil macem ngeplak gitu)
m : THANKSYOU BUT DONT TOUCH MY HEAD!
g : hah? dont touch my head? dont touch my head? HAHAHAHAH (tolol -_-)
m : (mo nangisdeh. udah deg-degan, jantung udah kaga karuan, pengen nonjok kegendutan, mana semua pada temen ama itu anakdeh setan!)
g : (ngomong ama temen-temennya pake 'bahasa' tu mereka-mereka -_-) bitch! (belaga ngomong kearah temen-temennya)
m : (gue yang sementara ngewarnain gambar langsung nengok kaya disinetron-sinetron) YOU! (tambah deredeg bener dah ini)
g : haha you..

Dan gue ga bisa ngomong apa-apa lagi. Gue nangis aja udah (apa lagi) sambil terus warnain gambar, dan bener-bener berusaha ga narik ingus (yoalah, ketuan dong gue nangis kalo itu)
Terus bikin gue panas itu manusia, ngatain 'bitch' berulang-ulang~
Gue bisa ngapain? Ya terus nangis...

Udah deh kan tuh, gue ambil deh hape, gue mulai deh nelpon rumah. Kaga ada yang angkat. Nelpon mama, ga diangkat juga~
Gue sms deh kan akhirnya, gue sms mama, gue sms dad. Heh pas lagi sms-an gitu, si guru pengganti hari tiu bilang "please bring you cell phone in here. dont use cell phone in the class ". Ngehe. Dengan malu + SUPER DUPER DOUBLE apalah gue jalan tuh lewatin dia sama temen-temennya. Eh sial banget (pengen banget nulis kata-kata jorok buat ungkapan ke itu anak. cuman ya itu, dosa deh ntar gue -,-) dia malah ketawain gue. Gue lewat sambil nunduk, dan duduk-nangis lagi- sambil senyum penuh arti.

Udahdeh kan tuh, akhirnya udah bel lunch sabodo gue lambat-lambatin keluarnya. Gue balikin pensil warna sambil jalan lemot~
Terus kemeja guru, ngambil hape~

Keluar kelas gue buru-buru buka 2 sms-dari mama sama dad- katanya gue kebagian information dibawah. Hohyeah, gue telpon deh mama jelaasin sejelas-jelasnya.
Ditangga pas mo turun gue liat dia noh. Hokelah gue cuman bisa muter-muter disatu tempat. Datengdeh 2 temennya (yang gue pikir ga teralu dukung dia banget banget) sambil meluk gue, terus bilang apalah kaga jelas gue dengernya~
Secara gue sambil nelpon, dia mah pada diem ajenoh, mikir (pastinya) apadeh itu yang gue kata~
Terus selese nelpon mereka berusaha ngomong ke gue, cuman gue ga gitu peduli sambil ninggalin mereka. Dan pas gue lewat tangga-masih sambil nangis- ada gabriela kan noh, gue senyum ke dia dan dia ngeliatin gue gue pas bener temen-temennya yang 2 orangtadi sambil neriakin manggil gue dan gue tetep jalan~~

Sampe deh diruang information bagian dalem, gue mulai ngomong ke staffnya. blablabla~
Terus si staff ke bagian 11 grade, nerusin apa yang gue bilang ke dia. Nah staff 11 grade manggil security dah. Dateng noh, dua~~
Si staff jelasin deh apa masalahnya, terus gue dibawa ke security office. Ditanya-tanyain, segala macem ga lama temen gue nelpon, nanya gue dimana, eh ga lama dateng merekanya. Gue keluar (depan pintu) terus mereka nanya apa masalahnya, gue ceritain eh mereka malah bilang "but just like that?" gue bilang iye, cuman dasar gatau masalahnya ajadeh makanya dia mikir biasa aja~

Smbil mereka terus ngomong ke gue, sambil terus gue nangis. YEAH-_- si criss lewat deh, masuk keleas pas depan security office sambil bawa makan siangnya dengan natap gue bingung + ga 'peduli'
Gue ngeliat dia ya sama, sebel dan GENGSI yoh -.-

Terus gue masukdeh gue ke security office lagi. Ga lama mama gue dateng noh, mereka pada keluar, pada mo ngambil makan siang sekalian siap-siap sama jam pelajaran selanjutnya~
Oke, udah 2 deh tuh. Gue dikatain, terus dicuekin (emang gue juga sih yang bilang ke criss kaga usah peduli peduli ama gue -_-)

Nah gue mulai diperiksa dan ke activities office buat mastiin yang mana yang namanya gabriela, soalnya sekirat 6 apa 7 yang nama depannya gabriella. Dan pas ke-4 dapet deh noh potonya~
Balik lagi gue ke security office deh. Setelah ngisi semua surat-surat, ga lama salahsatu security dateng dan bilang katanya gue yang ngatain dia bitch. OHGOD gue ngerasa banget ini ga adil hidup gue. Hei jelas? gue difitnah dong ini! Dan gue bener-bener ga terima.
Yang bikin gue tambah mikir ga ada kejujuran lagi di ni dunia, sampah semua karna katanya "semua temen-temennya juga denger, gue yang bilang bitch" SETAN! gue bener-bener pengen tarik tu semua rambutnya. Ckck bener-bener terlalu sampah ini hidup.

Apalah hampir satu setengah jam kemudian si gabriellanya dateng. Masing-masing punya translate-an. Dia yang translate salah seorang security, gue ya mama gue -_-
Dan akhirnya 'selese'. Jujur, gue ga ikhlas sama sekali. Jelas, gue difitnah abis-abisan! Gue ga suka begini mah, kalo emang jagoan ga perlu dong ngebohong? Tunjukin kalo lo emang ngelakuin. HAHA berani emang cuman dibelakang aja -DD HAHA-HA~~

Emang ga ada hari tanpa ~~nangis~~..

pesta dapur :')

2009-11-14T15:07:00.000-08:00

Haha semuanya ga kesengaja.

Pertama gue bangun tidur jam 12:08 tadi (aihgile), soalnya tadi malem jam 11 kurangan gitu :p hehe (HAHGILA BANGET MAH TAPI SAMPE 13 JAM GITU TIDURNYA MER!!)

Nah terus bertahan tuh gue(belom makan) sampe mama bangun. haha

Terus mama nanya deh kan, udah makan apa belo. Gue bilang deh belom, sambil bingung mau makan apa-bosen juga makan mi mulu- eh mama inisiatifan deh bikin terong kecap :p

Ada yang ngurus bumbunya >>>

Haha kez bagian ngulek sodara-sodara~

Hmm lupa moto tadi, gue bagian bersihin lele :D

Mulai dari nyuci sampe bersihin bagian isi perutmya si lele. AIH

Kerasa banget ya ga enaknya jadi tukang ikan. Mesti pasrah jijik-jijikan ama para ikan :'(

Haha satu ikan aja tadi udah ga sanggup (bukan apa apa, masalahnya itu lele kan licin banget, terus berlendir gitu -.-), untung ada sarungtangan plastik ;D jadi masih ketolong, ga bersetuhan langsung sama lele lele cantik itu hehe

(oh ya, total lele = 3)

Selese bersihin para lele cantik, terus dibumbuin, dipanggang deh~

Setelahnya gue bantuin mama deh, ngurus terong kecapnya ;D hehe

Abis tu ngebalik sana ngebalik sini, mateng juga deh tu terong! (si lele cantik belom juga mateng. huh)

>>>

Terus makan deh ama tu terong *cakep :'B

-kesian bener dah ade gue yang ini, capek ngeliatin pemandangan sumpek didapur, berusaha "kabur" dari carsitnya ;D"
>>>

Nah karna cucian piring rada banyak, mama nawarin gue deh buat milih "cuci piring" apa "ngepel lantai", dan gue milih "ngepel lantai" sodara-sodara ;D yahmending sih, abis kalo cuci piring ribet diminyaknya, tebel -..-

berikut saya dengan ember putih :') HAHA

>>>

cantik ya :')

Dan akhirnya selese deeeeeh. Cukup seneng buat sabtu siang ini, wolupun ga liburan ke luar, tapi masak juga bisa dikata liburan lhoo! hehe

ikut seneng :)

2009-11-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

Hei.. Kalian tau? Gue seneng!
Semua akan kerasa indah kalo kalian nyenengin seseorang yang lagi sedih dan akhirnya dia kembali senyum karna kita. Kan?

Gue belom lama kenal dia. Di myspace, anak smansa ***** hehe
Namanya disamakarkan~ haha

Hari ini dia ulang tahun. Tepat ke -17.
Dan dia ol sampe subuh, sekitar jam 2-an baru tidur deh (seingetan gue).
Ngobrol cukup banyak (chat), terus dia cerita kalo lagi sedih. Hmm
Sedih ya denger orang sedih. Itu sih yang gue rasain. Kalian gimana?

Dan pas jam 12:17 am (waktu indo) gue ngucapin selamat ultah ke dianya. Sekedar ngehibur, gue bikin sign buat dia, haha jelek. ini >>>(wah kok burem?)

Dan ternyata dia seneng. Gue ikut seneng :)
Dia bilang "walau cuma gitu . Tapi berkesan banget buat gw. Ahh indahnya hidup gw setelah kenal lo. Makasih ya mery :D" ohmen gue beneran ikut seneng! Semua juga kan, kalo nyenengin orang yang lagi sedih karna sesuatu?

Gue harap hari ini dan selanjutnya tetep bakal jadi hari istimewa buat dia :)

2009-11-11T20:57:00.000-08:00

JANGAN KIRIMI AKU BUNGA

Aku mendapat bunga hari ini.
meski hari ini bukan hari istimewa dan bukan hari ulangtahunku.
Semalam untuk pertama kalinya kami bertengkar
dan ia melontarkan kata-kata menyakitkan.
Aku tahu ia menyesali perbuatannya
karena hari ini ia mengirim aku bunga.

Aku mendapat bunga hari ini.
Ini bukan ulangtahun perkawinan kami atau hari istimewa kami.
Semalam ia menghempaskan aku ke dinding dan mulai mencekikku Aku bangun dengan memar dan rasa sakit sekujur tubuhku.
Aku tahu ia menyesali perbuatannya
karena ia mengirim bunga padaku hari ini.

Aku mendapat bunga hari ini.
Padahal hari ini bukanlah hari Ibu atau hari istimewa lain.
Semalam ia memukuli aku lagi, lebih keras dibanding waktu-waktu yang lalu.
Aku takut padanya tetapi aku takut meningggalkannya.
Aku tidak punya uang.
Lalu bagaimana aku bisa menghidupi anak-anakku?
Namun, aku tahu ia menyesali perbuatannya semalam, karena hari ini ia kembali mengirimi aku bunga.

Ada bunga untukku hari ini.
Hari ini adalah hari istimewa : inilah hari pemakamanku.
Ia menganiayaku sampai mati tadi malam.
Kalau saja aku punya cukup keberanian dan kekuatan untuk meninggalkannya, aku tidak akan mendapat bunga lagi hari ini…

Gue harap banget pesan cerita ini nyampe ke kalian yang baca :'(
Ini gue copas dari : http://keluarga-ibad.blogspot.com/2008/06/bunga.html

2009-11-11T09:44:00.000-08:00

SELFISH!

Lets start by correcting ya tone
Lower ya finger, don't be comin' at me
With condescending demeanors.
We both know that ya dead wrong
And what makes it worse, you don't even have the nerve
To ever say that you're sorry

You're never wrong and i'm never right and
You win all the rounds in every fight
Thats why...

Cant stay another day when you're always
Getting your way , you just keep getting your way
You just keep getting your way (selfish)
So i decided not to get in your way
Its time to do it my way and that means
Getting away from you, ya selfish!

How is it that you can look at us and only see you
You can look at one but, never would you ever see two
You can live a lie and never be true
Its so funny now, how clearly I can see you

You're never wrong and i'm never right and
You win all the rounds in every fight
That's why...

Cant stay another day when you're always
Gettin your way , you just keep getting your way
You just keep getting your way (selfish)
So i decided not to get in your way
Its time to do it my way and that means
Getting away from you, ya selfish!

No we don't need to talk
Ain't nothing left to say
You got everything ya want
Go ahead and have ya cake
I know what's best for me
We go our separate ways
Leaving you with everything
Even all the pain

Cant stay another day when you're always
Getting your way , you just keep getting your way
You just keep getting your way
So i decided not to get in your way
Its time to do it my way and that means
Getting away from you, ya selfish

Oh yeah! ini lagu keren banget meeen.
Buat lo, lo, dan lo! :)

BE PATIENT!

2009-11-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

BE PATIENT..

Oke. Dia ngerasa hatinya ga karuan 'lagi' sekarang.
Dia sendiri ga ngerti. Dan ga ada yang ngerti.

BE PATIENT..

Semua emang keliatan ndah.
Semua emang terlihat manis.
Semua emang keliatan baik-baik aja.
Semua emang kerasa biasa aja.
Tapi kalian ga liat hatinya :)

BE PATIENT..

Penuh senyuman.
Penuh keceriaan.
Cuman terlihat :)

BE PATIENT..

Ngomong itu nggak semudah sama apa yang harus dilakuin.
"Be Patient".. OH NICE!

BE PATIENT..

Dia cuman pengen curhat,
Dia cuman pengen berbagi.
Dia cuman pengen tumpahin semuanya.
Dia cuman pengen pendengar disampingnya :)

BE PATIENT..

Dia emang sangat cengeng.
Dia emang cuman bisa nangis.
Dia emang cuman bisa sedih.
Dia emang cuman bisa ngerasa.
Dia cuman butuh kakak perempuan :)

BE PATIENT..

Semua emang ada waktunya.
Semua emang ga langsung 'jadi'.
Semua emang butuh waktu.
TAPI BUAT DIA KAPAN? :)

BE PATIENT..

Semua emang beda.
Semua emang bukan yang dulu.
Semua itu sekarang.

BE PATIENT..

Dia cuman butuh teman.
Dia cuman butuh pendengar.
Dia cuman butuh orang yang meluk dia kenceng dalam kesedihannya.
Dia cuman butuh kakak perempuan.

...

Dia cuman butuh kakak perempuan.

remembering.

2009-11-08T11:16:00.000-08:00

Eight years later, you still on my mind.. is true love just once in a lifetime..

dissapointed! RRWR

2009-11-07T20:30:00.000-08:00

Oke deh kan. Kecewa kan ini gue ceritanya.
Kembali, kepada cowo. Cekcekcek kayanya deh ye cowo terlahir untuk menyaki bener deh aih -_-

Cowonya masih yang sama. Anak jejepangan itu --a

Gini deh kan, dia kan udah punya cewe gitu. Dinegaranya tapi~
Sebenernya kalo dipikir-pikir ya wajarlah seseorang mulai tertarik lainnya kalo jarang komunikasi atau bahkan cuman karna jarang ketemu!

Nah ceritanya dia suka sama gue. Ini orangnya >>>
Oke, SIAPA YANG GA KECEWA KALO COWONYA APA CEWENYA SUKA ORANG LAIN HAYO? T_T nah kan. Sakit bener itu deh pasti. Apalagi kalo sampe itu cewenya sampe tau.
Gue bukannya sok prihatin atau belaga sok care lah ama kaya ginian, -terlalu lebai mungkin buat orang-orang buat ngurus beginian doang- cuman gue ngerti banget deh gimana rasanya.
Bukan sok sok-an ke GEER-AN gitu dah macemnya disukain cowo laen. Nggak. Sama sekali nggak. Ya itu, gue cuman ga tegaan amat deh ama cewenya di tokyo sana -,-

PARAH~

ketika BOSEN DAN BERMASALAH -terdampar ditaman-

2009-11-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

Hmm gue lupa banget tanggalnya berapa. Cuman kalo ga salah 3 minggu apa 2 minggu lalu. Etapi kayanya 2 minggu lalu deh~

Ceritanya gue kan lagi bermasalah gitu tuh dirumah. Biasalah. Terus hari itu cuman gue yang pergi Gereja.
Terus mama yang nganter kesononya, dan bilang "kalo udah mau deket-deket pulang sms mama ya, ka". Okelah, gue bilang iya.
Nah selama didalem Gereja, gatau napa gue ngerasa males bener. Bukan males Gereja atau dengerin Pendetanya khotbah, cuman apalah itu gue juga kurang ngerti -_-
Terus pas udah selese Gerejanya, gue perkiran. Niat nunggu dijemput gitu deh.
Etapinya gue mikir, "wogh. Kesian juga ya mama disms cuman buat jemput gue yang jelas-jelas bisa pulang sendiri". Hokelah, gue batalin deh kan buat sms si mama. Dan gue mulai petualangan gue siang bolong, dengan panas terik dan angin agak kencang.-dingin bener -

Dan selama diperjalanan gue cuman dengerin mp3 sealbum noh! OHYES~
Berusaha ga bosen coy gue. Abis begimana deh, daripada mama gue keganggukan tidurnya, mending jalan deh udah.
Gue lupa, waktu itu make headset apa nggak. Tapi seinget gue kaga deh, jadi itu gue gedein se-gede-gedenya volume musiknya.

Berusaha ga capek hoy gue. Nyanyi apaan aja yang si mp3 kasih. Dan baiknya, gue ngasih kesempetan noh buat semua lagu di mp3 hape gue. Ga ngerti?
Oke mulai cerita gue. Jadi biasanya kan gue ga pernha ngurutin lagu buat gue dengerin. Yang lagi pengen aja gue dengerin. (LAH BEGO SEMUA ORANG JUGA GITU LAH!) haha tapi ga gitu juga. Ada deh noh pokonya kan lagunya Mariah Carey - Hero, cuman donlot doang kagi diputer-puter lagunya Y hehe

Sepanjang perjalanan, gue moto sana-sini. Beberapa bagus, cuman pas gue pindahin ke kompi gambarnya jadi burek gitu dah~ (ohyeah mungkin faktor hapenya butut juga sih -,-). Ya gajadi dah gue aplot deh kan tuh.
Nah pas udah deket apartment, kan ada taman noh, "taman mexico" dinamain ama keluarga gue hihi (karna banyakan anak mexico disono) nah gue mampir tuh kan. Duduk duduk awalnya. Mikir deh abis itu, males pulang.
Hokelah, gue (nyoba) tiduran dirumputnya. Eh ketagihan sodara-sodara ;D (apadeh)
Yasulah, gue tiduran sambil moto sana-sini pake hape butut tercinta saya~

>>>
Setelah capek, dan ngeliat jam udah makin sore, mutusin DOONG!) gue ngeliat angle-nya bagus bener dah (cuman hape gue ga mendukung sodara-sodara :'()

Bagus kan ya? Nah makanya -_- (jah)

Sampe rumah gue udah ketok pintu padahal, eh kaga dibukain (kayanya emang kaga denger, gue ngetok cuman sekali, udah gitu pelan HOY! ;P)
Yasulah, gue duduk pas bener depan pintu. Eh ade gue yang cewe (iyalah. yang cowo masih bayi -,-) sms deh, nanya udah dimana. Hahah~ gue kata udah depan pintu.
Dateng dah si dad ama kez, bukain pintu. HAHAH~

-SEKIAN-

HOME COMING (part 1)

2009-10-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

Hokelah, ingin berbagi lagi ini gue. Ntar malem kan acaraan HOME COMING noh, lagi gue deg deg-an masa deh -__- Bukan karna apa-apa, cuman karna ini emang pertama kalinya gue ngikut acaraan ginian disekolah. Sekolah dulu (tidak disebutkan) mah mana ada beginian deh ha-ha.

Dan terpenting, gue masih bingung mau make baju apa :( abahaya banget deh kan? acaraan ntar malem, baju belom netep diotak.

Sebenernya ada sih, punya mama. KEREN GILA! cuman gue ga muat :"( hu. Ada juga sih yang muat, cuman GUE KURANG SUKA ;( abis keliatan banget kurusnya gue kalo make itu baju. HUAAA!

Begini deh, ribet bener aseeeek~

Cerita-cerita soal harga ticket cukup bikin gue shock masa deh (unsure).

Berikut :

Single $ 30
Couple $ 25

EBUSET BENER KAAAAN? ckck =_=

Awalnya gue kira yang Single $ 3 terus yang Couple $ 2,5. Tapi setelah gue pelototin akhirnya sadar deh, itu harga begitu bener -..- najisdah~

Makanya heran juga gue, sekolah jago bener itu ngegaruk duit segede gitu ckck. (dalem rupiah) Berati seenggaknya buat yang Single Rp.300.000,- dong? Terus yang Couple Rp.250.000,- aihgila bener --a

Hmm disini gue jalan sendiri.Tepatnya ga ada pasangan.

Sebenernya ada yang nemenin gue. cuman sori sori aja deh, mending jalan sendiri guenya =________= (HEH PADA GA MAU NANYA SIAPA ORANG YANG MAU NEMENIN GUE ITU?) JIJAYGUE SEKARANG AMA DIA BANGET BANGET-_-

Nah oke. Gue masih bingung sama DRESS sodara-sodara ;(

Gue masih bingung, rambut digimanain. HIKS kesian amat gue :(

Abis acaraan gue lanjut lagi ya, pembaca :|

THE GUY FROM TOKYO -..- (part 2)

2009-10-28T16:35:00.001-07:00

Nah pas bener kan noh dia lagi kedepan kompi anak laen, yasulah gue pura-pura kaga liat. Heh dia malah say hello ke gue sambil lambai tangan -,- Kaga enak yasu gue bilang hi balik ke dia, terus belaga bilang maaf ga liat sms dia yang barusan. Terus dia malah nyuruh gue duduk samping dia deket sono (kebetulan ada yang kosong sih sampingnya) terpaksa dah kesono -_- itu juga gue mauin karna gue tau ni hari assembly class, jadi ga sampe sejam tiap mapel. Jadi kan ga lama-lama amat duduknya deket dia.

Lanjutlah dia mulai ngomong apaan tau, kalo kaga salah nanya apa yang harus kita kerjain hari itu dikelas tersebut (cielah bahasa gue baku kan ehem) lah gue kata ga tau aja deh (kebetulan juga emang kaga tau sih).

Terus dia nanya banyak deh, tapi gue bilang "i'm so sorry, i don't understand what you say" haha keliatan bener begonya ye -_- eh dia malah bilang "oh i'm sorry. i speak too fast, right?" haha gue bilang "no problem hehe"

Terus nanya lagi deh masa kan -_- lagi lagi deh gue bilang, maaf kaga idep. Dia minta maaf lagi (hiya).

Kemudian gue deh gantian nanya (daripada gue yang ditanya kan?), udah berapa lama di negara ini, terus dia bilang udah 6 taun. Gue tanya lagi punya ade apa kaga, berapa umurnya bla bla bla... Terus dia nanya balik.

Eh abis itu dia ngeluarin camdignya, terus nunjukin foto-foto hasil assembly tadi deh, belaga aja gue liatin. Kaga lama ngeunjuk sodara-sodara, dia minta foto bareng (AYEY ASIKAN ARTIS) hoh -....- ngok~ Dua kali itu kita fotoannya huah!

Pas gue liat hasilnya ebuset bener bujuk gue jeleeeeeeek! Tersebutlah gue kata ke dia, kalo gue jelek abis T.T lha tapinya kata dia, gue kaga jelek HA-HA-HA bisaan bener seneng-senengin kuping kan --p

ini salah satu hasilnya >>>

Eh eh tadi pas gue bilang gue ga ngerti sama apa yang dia omongin tadi yang pas nanya-nanya itu, eh dia malah bilang "what language you speak?" gue kata "indonesia". Lah lha masanya dia malah ngomong "Can you teach me?" lah kaget kan gue -_- gue sangka ngeledek itu mah palingan.Gue tanyain deh "For what?" heh dia jawab "So I can talk long and tapering with you" ebuset kan -- asekbener haha.

Gue ketawa aja udah. Lucu lah. Banget malah ckck HAHAY!

Kemudian gue ngalihin aja yang lain gitu kan, heh dia ngulangin minta diajarin bahasa indonesia lagi masa -.- pas ketiga kalinya, yasulah hoke gue ajarin aja udah, daripada dimintain mulu deh kan -_-

Dia mulai dengan kata-kata yang sering ducapin kita-kita disekolah. Kaya contohnya "hello, goodbye, have a nice day" eh terakhir-terakhir gue denger dia kata "i love you" NGOK~ behgile amat gue mah ketawa garing ajadah menghargai (lho?)

Lanjut, dia minta lanjut diajarin tentang angka. Katanya sih dari 1-20 aja. Gue tulisin deh udah.

Abis itu dia belajar bacanya sama gue, hoh~ Haha lumayan sih cara bacanya. Cuman ngakak pas tiba dia baca dia kata "delapan, sembilan sama belas-belasan gitu" HAHAHAHA ckck

Terus gitu gitu dia malah ngajarin gue bahasa jepang kan -_- hoh ribet! 1-20 juga ckck hehe.

OH IYA, kan gue nanya dia dateng ga keacara home coming, dia bilang sih kaga. Terus nanya balik, gue bilang sih 'kayanya'. Gue bilang deh maksudnya kata 'kayanya' itu, mau tapi ga ada temen. LAH LAH langsungan dia kata "me :)" BEUH~

Udah begimana lagi lupa deh gue, pokonya hari itu gue ditelponin mulu. Dua kali bujug -______- Terus yang ketiga kepaksa deh gue angkat. ckck malay =,=

THE GUY FROM TOKYO -..- (part 1)

2009-10-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

Woh hokelah mulai cerita deh ini gue. Seminggu lalu gue iseng memberanikan diri nanya myspace sama facebooknya seorang cowo rada emo (gue liat sih gitu) pas selese kelas marketing, di school yard. Niatnya cuman buat nambah temen aja di myspace gue gitu kan, secara banget deh temen cuman berapa bintil begitu -_- haha kesian gue.

Hoke lanjut kan, terus mulai deh gue ngomong buat minta itu alamatnya di maispes apa ga fesbuk(bacanya gitu aja udah, gampangan nulisnya. Haha, terus kata dia kaga ada fesbuk adanya maispes. Yasodahlah gue begonya bingung mau ngomong gimana rupa kan, jadinya kaya pelongoan gitu, heh untung dia ngerti kan kayanya gue mau ngomong apa (soalnya gue nunjukin hape gitu, nyuruh ngetik disitu alamat maispesnya) tapi kata dia dikertas aja, abis kebetulan thema gue butut waktu itu, warna pink -_- jadi ga keliatan jelas buat ngetik haha.
Terus sambil dia nulis, iseng gue tanya dari mana dia (asal gitu), nah kata dia japang, tokyo. Nah kebetulan amat itu nemu anak jepang disitu haha (temen gue di indo nanya soalnya ada anak jejepangan ga) terus dia nanya balik gue darimana. Gue katalah indonesia :) terus gue nanya dia, tau kaga itu indonesia, lah kata dia tau sodara-sodara ;D ehehe *ciekan indonesia terkenal*
Selanjutnya lupa deh gue begimane lagi, yang gue inget cuman bilang terimakasih terus pergi haha (soalnya udah ditungguin ama bapak saya, lagi mah mau ngomong apa lagi deh coba kaga tau kan ngomong apaan haha begini nih kalo pinter -..- hehe)

Nah lanjut tadi di cafetaria pas lagi ngatri dibagian B dia dibelakang gue, udah liat sih cuman pura-pura ga liat (HAHA CIE GUE JAHAT) heh dia malah nyapa gue, "hi" sambil senyum lebar HA-HA mampus kan -.-
Belaga aja gue bilang "oh hey!" sambil bales senyumnya. Eh lansung aja deh gue madep depan belaga fokus ngantri, EH dia malah nyolek gue sambil siap megang hapenya terus minta deh nomer saya --a haha yasulah gue kasih. Terus sependengaran gue dia nanya nama gue deh, lah masa pas gue bilang 'mery, like this' (sambil nunjukin ID gue ke dia, kali-kali kan kaga tau gimane tulisannya nama gue gitu) lah malahan kata dia "no no, i mean do you need my cellphone?" WOUH MAMPUS KICEP GUE! T__________T gue pura-pura aja 'oh haha i'm sorry, i don't know' begonoan dah gue kata -.-
Hokelah gue "iya-kan" saja itu pertanyaannya. Terus abis itu gue kata makasih ke dia terus belaga fokus ama antrian.
Eh kaga ada semenit dia sms gue masa kan --" (ajegile bener itu anak) haha mau tau apa isi smsnya?
ini dia >>>
criss (C): how are you?
me (M) : good lol. how about you? (*)
C : Im good :D
M : hmm you already app my myspace?
C : idk
Yodah kan gue kaga bales. Eh tapinya dodol juga itu anak (liat tanda *) itu deh, dia sms gue pas baru gue kasih nomer gue. Padahal deket banget juga, bukannya ngomong aja kan ye buang-buang pulsa bener dia hoh (DEKET BANGET! 3 orang dibelakang gue -_-)

Terus pas abis bel selese lunch, gue lansung jalan dari stadium ke arah kelas marketing (biasa deh gue kan gaholnya ama anak asian juga, vietnam tepatnya jadi maenannya di stadium sambil tiduran dirumput haha). Lah ga nyadar gitu gue pas ngecek hape gue liat ada sms masa, hoeklah gue bukan penasaran siapa lagi. Heh dia ternyata, kata dia "Can you open the door to the class for me" lah langsung deh gue liat kearah tempat tempat duduknya, DIA UDAH DISONO! Terlambat bener berati gue baca smsnya haha -.-

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME COMPLETELY, dear?

2009-10-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

Do you know why I look so very cheerful?
Do you know why I look so very happy?
Do you know why I look so often photographed smiling?
Do you know why I look so funny?
Do you know why I look so very caring toward others?
Do you know why I look so friendly?
Do you know why I look so much talk?
Do you know why I look so wise in some way?
Do you know why I look so forward in some ways?
Do you know why I looked so honest in some trouble?
Do you know why I looked so relaxed in certain cases?

There is only one answer.
I like this because I want to look stronger than everyone else. including you.
I do not want anyone to know where my weaknesses.

But something compelled me to unload all of this. a cruel thing I've ever met.
Something painful that I could ever.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY AM I SO ANY PROBLEMS weepy every ALSO, as you say then? BECAUSE YOU ALL THAT! BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS hurt me and smiled bitterly MAKE ME THIS FOR ALL.

YOU NEVER KNOW MY HEART AND MY FEELING.

2009-10-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

no one ever understood me.
no one ever understood my feelings.
no one ever understood my mind.
no one ever understood why I like this, why I was so.

and now, I feel there is something that tore my chest. tearing my heart.
a child who is weak because of something, that's me now.

and now, I feel myself drifting into the ocean

just keep listening to the tone of sadness. that's what I did. for what? what am I smiling? to what I understand other people? for what I care about all that happened. for what?
because life never looked happy. have never felt beautiful. never.
just anxiety. fear. concerns. humiliation. untruth. lies. hypocrisy.
I want to cry for longer and do not want to stop. I want to go. immediately went and sat next to jesus.
I want to sleep. sleep forever.
please, do not ever wake me. I do not want to see it all again.
feelings, thoughts, load up on my brain. all that exists. not anymore.

I was a little girl who lives to suffer. live to weep. live to smile with compulsion.
always patient, patient, patient. up to no good.

I was the one who is not easy to say love. not easy for something easy, as well as the other girls.

if now everyone saw my condition, how concerned. how the destruction of my heart.
every second, every minute, every time only the fear in my heart. there who loves me? is there anything my dear? Is there still want me? all of these questions destroying my entire brain tissue.

why I born? why many who saw me? why many are smiling at me?
whether all right? whether all sincere? or whether it was all false truth?

without realizing it, you're waiting for karma to come.

HASIL BELAJAR ANAK CERDAS

2009-10-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

Oke, kemaren udah ngambil hasil belajar gue selama kurang lebih sebulanan.
Sebelomnya gue ngikut ETS juga (yang harusnya ga gue ikutin) dengan total soal 134 -_- yaampun, tolong deh.
Gue ngerjain sebisa gue. Apapun yang hati gue pilih gue lingkarin dah. Mo bener salah urusan belakang.
Ga lama (karna hari itu ada pertemuan guru advisory) kemudian, mama sama dad dateng. Kurang sopan, main buka pintu kelas aja, ga ketok dulu -_- ckck
Sambil terus ngerjain itu ETS mama sama dad ngobrol sama Ms. Arguello. Terus berapa menitan gitu, Ms. Arguello-nya nyamperin gue, sambil bilang kalo gue boleh pulang sekarang. HEY GUE SENENG! aaah akhirnya --"
Hmm, sebenernya ETS itu ujian buat masuk univ yang ditujukan buat grade 10 sama 11 aja. Karna kebetulan gue grade 11 ya kena deh.
Cuman yang bener bener harus ngerjain ETS itu yang kurang lebih di US udah setahunan. Karna pastinya bahasa inggrisnya udah lumayan lancar dan juga ngerti maksud soal itu -_-

Lanjut ke maksud total soal 134 itu terdiri dari 41 soal pilihan ganda (hehe) dan sisanya bacaan sama pilihan ganda juga. Banyak banget kan? Hmm.

Oya, keluar kelas mama ngasih nunjukin hasil belajar yang dikasih Ms. Arguello tadi (baca : rapot sisipan). Dan disitu gue ga kaget ngeliat hasil masing-masingnya (udah tau bakal ada yang mengagetkan orangtua soalnya haha ;'>)

Berikut hasilnya :

International Dance = A+
ESL = A
Swim = A+
Marketing = B
Health = A
US History = B

dan...

Algebra = F

AAAH MEMALUKAN! bener bener malu gue. hua >.<
Begimana deh, ga ngerti T,T
Ga ada tapi tapian, disini gue bener bener harus usaha keras buat ngerti itu pelajaran -_- Dan sebenernya ga sanggup T.T

HATIGUESEKARANG.

2009-10-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

Salah gue apa sampe segitunya diginiin. Gue coba sabar. Selalalu sabar dan ga ada artinya.
Gue ngerti gimana sepinya lo disana. Gue juga selalu mikir. Tapi apa lo pernah sempetin ngerasa, gimana perasaan gue disini?
Tolong. delapan belas bulan bukan waktu yang gampang dan singkat. dan tiba-tiba aja dikhianatin sama tinta setitik. inget, hanya tinta setitik.
Harap lo tau, gue BUKAN kaya kebanyakan anak remaja lainnya gampang bilang CINTA.

semoga lo baca.

TENTANG COWO apalah bingung mau namain -_-

2009-10-10T16:05:00.000-07:00

Gue bingung mau cerita dari mana. Yang jelas gue benci perasaan. Perasaan selalu bikin gue mikir. Entah itu baik apa nggaknya, semua ngerepotin!
Mungkin ga ada yang ngerti kenapa bencinya gue sama perasaan. Tapi itu semua gara-gara seorang cowo yang ga pernah bikin gue ngerti dia. Selalu aja gue dibikin mikir tentang sifatnya.
Bikin hati gue teriak kesakitan. Bikin hati gue nangis. Nangis karna capek ga pernah berenti-berenti ngerasa.
Disini bukan otak gue yang berperan. Tapi hati gue. Dandimana bener-bener perasaan gue DIMAENIN!
Gue pengen banget otak lo kebuka. Hati lo gantian ngerasa. Gimana sakitnya jadi gue. Gimana capeknya jadi gue. Gimana perihnya kalo luka lo dikasih cuka!
Gue udah kehabisan kata-kata buat cerita ini semua.

senengtapisedih-

2009-03-11T19:48:00.001-07:00

Gue seneng, akhirnya tanggal 9 april udah interview.

Dan agustus gue jalan.
Tadinya bingung karna belom ketemu dia. Tapi udah nggak karna jadi ketemu :p

Cuman lima-jam -_-. Sayang banget. Eh nggak deh kayanya, ga sampe empat-jam seinget gue -,- ckck cepet banget dah. HAH~

2008-11-08T21:14:00.000-08:00

-,-

2006-10-31T21:53:00.000-08:00

Selamat datang di blog gue yang aneh dan semua isinya pembuangan :\